Him

I am listening to Eraserheads Spolarium now, and I suddenly imagine him singing this song again beside me like the old days. So I decided to create a blog post for him, and yes I always unintentionally create a blog post for him on my previous blog's, because of reasons.

Before, the first time I create a blog for him on multiply was because I am really comfortable with him and loved the fact that he is my friend and I wanted to stay that way until the end, Yes, I am foolish and hopeless.
After that, I posted another one expressing how confuse I am on what kind of friends we are, if we were crossing the friendship line or I am just imagining things.
Then another post on how much disappointed I am for the things that keep happening, from not attending my debut to new friend and suddenly jump to a silent war between me & him,
Year passed, and here I am creating another blog about him, just because every time I hear Itchyworm's Akin ka na lang, Parokya ni Edgar's Telepono, and Eraserhead Spolarium, no, all eraserheads songs remind me of him. And remind me how much we have change on the span of 5 years.

If you will ask me if I am sad, I don't that's the right emotion. Maybe a little regret of a good relationship that slowly fading out and no one dare to stop it. A relationship that I once cherished and really proud of, but like what I said before I got tired of giving too much effort and I cannot feel that I received even half of it. But its all in the past now, and I know things happen for so many reasons most I cannot decipher.

Life is moving, people are changing, relationship blooms and vanish. Though I cannot changed anything from the past, and  I cannot undo the memories and things I associated him with, I am still happy that at least the bridge that connects us is not burned, and I can always go back and say that I never broke our rule, we never did.