Bakit ako single?
Katatanong lang yan ng bago kong kaibigan.
Hindi ko sigurado kung may transcript ba ang mga conversion sa newly found friends, na after ng age, crushes at status, masasama ang tanong na yan.

Bakit nga ba ako single?
Hindi ko rin talaga alam, siguro kasi kung alam ko baka hindi ako single ngayon.
Hindi naman ako panget, as in pang horror movie panget, wala naman ako body odor, marunong naman ako mag-hold ng conversation, at marami akong kaibigan (Diba, pakapalan na ng face to). Pero hindi ko rin alam kung bakit maski manliligaw wala ako.

Sabi ng bestfriend ko, masyado daw kasi akong perfect girl friend (magkahiwalay yan ah), so in short, nasa friendzone ako. Pero minsan feeling ko niloloko lang ako ng bestfriend ko para di ako magdrama, at kumanta.

Sabi ng boyfriend nya, di daw kasi ako nagbibigay ng aura na okay akong ligawan (May aura pa lang ganoon,  last year ko lang nalaman)

Sabi ng close friend ko, masyado daw akong opinionated. (Eh madaldal talaga akong tao, masama ba maging totoo?)

Sabi pa ng isa kong friend, destiny ko lang daw talagang maging taga-payo/taga-ayos ng gala ng barkada. (Eh diba ang selfish nila! Hahaha)

Hindi ko tuloy alam kung dapat ako mabother, or baka sakali lang talaga wala pa yung taong maglalakas ng loob na manligaw sakin at makisama sa mga nakakabaliw kong trip sa buhay. Siguro hindi pa binigay ni Papa God sa taong yun ung daan para makita nya ako. At naniniwala naman kasi ako, na hindi naman porke't wala kang love life pag nasa 20's ka na, malungkot na ang buhay mo. Eh ito nga ako, masaya at kontento naman. Pero minsan kainggit lang din hahaha. Hindi naman ako maglalaho pag wala akong love life ng 25 eh, so sa ngayon, sige gora lang. Enjoyin ang pagiging single, may purpose naman yun, gaya ng pagiging topic nya sa post ko today ^^

Cheers to all single ladies out there!
Itayo natin ang bandera ng happy singles sa buong planet earth :D

You say you love me,
and tell me to think it over.
I think, but I realize why would I,
It's not that I don't believe what you say,
It's more I am looking at where we are right now.
So I decided to talk to you.
and clear the air between us.
My mind is restless for thinking too much,
but what you said make it stop abruptly.
You said to forget about it,
Because you think nothing good will come up from it.
Part of me believe that it's me who made you think like that,
It is me who let you feel that nothing good will come up from pursuing me.
Part of me think that you don't want to ruin our friendship,
that is why you eating what you said,
because our friendship is such a precious thing.
But there's a part of me that feels angry,
a part that wonders why you have to said it and back out from it,
Am I not worthy?
Am I not good enough to risk our friendship for something more?
The night you told me that,
Tears suddenly flow because you just seal the ugly though I have hidden for years.
Maybe I am not worthy.
That even my dear friend wanted me to forget that he confessed.
That even of my closest friend think nothing good will come up.
I would like if I will say I didn't hate you for that moment,
Because I did.
And I will never tell you that for the first time in a long time,
I am willing to let someone see me more than friend.
I am willing to risk our friendship because finally I have some courage to do it.
I am willing to open some wall to see where it can lead us,
My eyes are swollen that night while saying good night to you,
my heart hurts and I am sure that I won't easily forgot about it.
But after the anger and hurt, I am thankful.
Because I know you don't deserve me.
And I should start erasing whatever feelings I have for you.
There maybe times that I don't feel pretty, or specialy.
But I know one thing, I am worth it.
I am meant to be pursued, and I am worthy for a man's hardship.
I am God's princess, and I should never think otherwise.
I am hurt because I do like you,
and in the deep part of my hurt believe that you can see the things I hide.
But I know God has a plan for me,
and you are not the one he created for me.
So I am also glad for that talk,
because you spare me from a might be terrible heartbreak,
and you do save our more than a decade friendship.

Three weeks ago, my classmate invited me to attend the Christian Life Program (CLP), the first part to be a member of Single's For Christ (SFC).

Three weeks since I decided to fully embrace this calling.
I am not that religious, and always fail to go to church every Sunday, but I know that I have this intimate relationship with Papa God.
I actually don't know when I slightly look at him sideways instead of  pursuing the path of serving him, a promise I told myself I will do when I became an adult.

Three weeks have passed and today he makes me realize again that this is the way I should go, to serve him and work again with our intimacy.

I love the topic of our today's fellowship: What it means to be a Christian?
The speaker said so many wonderful things and these are what I remember the most
 - God calls us not on our best moments but he calls us when we are at our worst
 - God doesn't want you to feel the burden of your sins, that is why he already bears it. The only thing he wants is for you to serve, follow him and do your part.
 - God wants us to love each other, to complete and not compete.
 - And God has his own timing, he will provide you better just trust and have faith with him. Man's rejection is God's redirection.

The speaker encourages us to have that intimate personal relationship with God, in which you can open our heart to him. And today, till the rest of my day, I will work to have a continuous intimate relationship with him. I won't back out and hide my face, because I know he will still love me in my dirtiest, ugliest state.

Kalahating taon din mula ng di ako magpost dito, parang saglit lang pero antagal na rin pala.
For the past years, I always tell myself to post anything or do something with this.
I often look at other blogs and feel envy because they did it.
I wanted that too, and I read somewhere that for a hobby to stick, you need to do it for 30 days.
And starting today, I will start that challenge.