The Story of My Life

A/N: I did this becaus my Social Worker asked me to, it was a mini biography of me ^^ i dont know if i had misspelled words or wrong grammars..dont have the time to proof read (i didnt sleep last night because of this..)

I grow up on a famous community, a place which one time gathered the world’s attention not because of its beauty or its elegance but it’s the other way around. I lived and raise on a place described before as a large landfill in Manila, which consist of over two million tons of garbage and decomposed at a high temperature that it ignites; it is called as Smokey Mountain. I just don’t live near Smokey Mountain; I am also living in Tondo, Manila which other people have the notion as a dangerous place because the residents are “war freaks” as what they said.

Being a child at that time, I really don’t care about that stuff, all I know was I am the same as everyone else though I heard some rumors but I didn’t put it on mind. I only realized the influence of social stigma when I was in mid-elementary where I can slowly understand what was happening on my environment.

I didn’t grow up on book type family settings where the father provides everything for his family; where the wife do all the household chores and take care of the children and her husband; where the children’s play, study and help their mother on the chores and they live happily. I didn’t say it didn’t happen on our family, during the early days it happens, but problems are always part of our lives. My father works to provide our family needs, my mother work at home running a small variety store to help my father; me and my younger brother study and play. That was before until a serious family problem came. I cannot remember exactly what age I am at that time, but I wasn’t reached the age of ten. Arguing between my parents once a week or a month became a natural sight. As a child at that time, I really can’t do anything whenever my parents fought and my mother cries. I really despise that moment because tears are also flowing on both mine and my brothers eyes. Back at that time, there’s only one thing always run to my mind and that is I will never let my mom cry except the reason is happiness, because of me. I promised myself that my mom will never carry any burden because of me so I should be responsible enough for my own actions. I should be strong enough so that my mom could get some strength from me and I can also care for my younger brother, that time as well I learned to bottle up everything inside.

Education is important, that is one of the things my mother always nailed to me and my siblings brains. A grade with a line of 7 is a big no-no, so I’ll always make it a point to get a grade of 80 above. I love school and I love arts. I am fascinated with drawings and I discover that I can draw better than some people. Drawing and dancing was the second reason why I get associated with Konkokyo; the first one was because I am a former student of Konkokyo Learning Center. Way back before, I don’t have an outgoing personality, I am noisy but not that bubbly. I don’t also have enough self confidence in other things except on studies. On my last year of elementary, I joined “Alay Sa Bata”, a program conducted every December by the Social Action Office of De La Salle-College of Sainte Benilde as Konkokyo Center Representative in Drawing with other grantees. Maybe the luck was on our side, me and my partner won as the second place. I was so happy because that was my first time to join a contest and it wasn’t academics. I also joined their anniversary mini-concert in which all the grantees show case their talents. That time, I am slowly gaining some self confidence and nurture my talents. I still joined Alay Sa Bata for three consecutive years until I reached the age limit of 12. I also joined their activities which help me to face my shyness and able to communicate with other people.  Some of my inferiorities are being address which I know help a lot on my self esteem.

On my mid-high school, I focus more on my studies because two more years, and I will be a college student which bring so many fears in me. There are plans before that the De La Salle-College of Saint Benilde (DLS-CSB), a school under a La Salle System which is considered as one of the best school in the Philippines, will offer a new type of scholarship and it is for the student under Non-Government Organizations (NGO), but that time it was all a plan and I can’t rely on this. Even though I still have a year left, I am really nervous about college education, I know my parents, especially my mother will really do anything in order for me to have a college degree, and I on my part will do anything to make sure that my parents wouldn’t waste money on me, so we really rely on scholarships.

I was on my last year of high school when Ate Gina, told me the good news, I was one of the 4 students who will take the college entrance exam at the De La Salle-College of Saint Benilde (DLS-CSB) as a representative of Konkokyo. I really prayed and believed that I will be studying at CSB (short term for DLS-CSB), and I am really thankful to Konkokyo for giving me a once in a lifetime chance. When I took the exam, I really feel nervous, even though I already entered CSB when I was in elementary and high school because of the contest, I felt like I never entered this school. I really prayed hard to Jesus to help me pass the entrance exam. It was on Feb when the result came, I went to the computer shop to check if I do belong to the people who pass. My palms are sweating when I type my name, I remember I scream at the computer shop when I saw the Congratulations, you passed the entrance exam with animated confetti. My friend got so shocked when I scream but when they knew the reason, they all pinch me and squeal with happiness with me. I was so happy that I immediately went home to tell the good news.

After my high school graduation, I along with my three co-grantees processed all the necessary documents. That time insecurity somewhat covers me again, I wonder what my classmates would say about me because I am different from them. I am not rich like most of them, and I know I can be a possible candidate for social stigmas because of the place where I am from. I also worried if I can find friends that will accept me, or I will be a loner for my whole stay. I also think before that maybe I can find one or two friends. I didn’t say anything about my fears because I don’t want to listen to it; I want to think positive like what I always did. I already had the scholarship which my schoolmates will do anything to get one, what else should I fear? And I am at the school to study, which is my main priority. It seems funny how I talked to myself every night to conquer all those fears.

I was one of the 12 pioneer Benildean Hope Scholar, the type of scholarship given to us, and I can say that it is much harder because we can also be called as the test subjects. I don’t have any upper class co-scholar to ask what should I do regarding of this concerns, it would be easy if there is someone who can tell you its okay, I survived it, you can too, that would probably uplift your spirit. But maybe fate really wants to teach me more things.

At first, I was hesitant to act naturally because I am still overwhelmed about my new environment, I was really shy and timid because I am afraid to create any mistakes or be a laughing stock. But later on, I realized that my classmates are also like me, they are all nervous too, and they are all facing their own problems, so just be myself and I know everything will turn out well.

Staying in College of Saint Benilde for almost 4 years was really great. I participate on voluntary activities which I realized more that I am still lucky than those other people. I also join some meetings, seminars and activities that involve people from the upper ladder of the school administration. I become as BHS representative on one of the scholars meeting with the Brother President of the school. I, along with my co-scholar host an event that has connections with my scholarship like Memorandum of Agreement (MOA) signing. On our first year, we also perform a special number for the birthday of the Brother President at that time.  I also joined academic contest being encourage by our great professors.

I met a lot of good people in Benilde, my group of friends in which they didn’t care about your status in life, and they all care about who you are, without any pretentions. They value you for who you are and not what you can do. They will laugh with you during your crazy moments, gives comfort during the time you need someone, and stood for you when you need someone to back you up. My classmate who treats everyone properly, they didn’t care if you’re from outer space as long they can understand what you’re saying they are going to have a good laugh with you. My teachers who act as a friend outside the classroom and act as respectable teacher in front of the class.

While staying in Benilde, I learned to be open and take life slowly. I learned to laugh about everything and take things easy. I gained more self confidence and a nice supply of self esteem. There are so many things that I knew changed in me. Back on a few weeks, Feb 27, 2010, my graduation day, I really feel so happy, not only because I will be graduation, or because I have a honorable mention award or my parents will see me walking on the stage holding a diploma but mainly because as I walk on the platform, I knew that I am fulfilled with my college experience. As I walk with my medal pinned on my toga, I feel that this is the fruit of my hard works on studies; this is something that I can offer to my parents as a token for their support to me. As I walk with smile on my face and not a single drop of tear, it’s because I know the friendship I had with my friends will never end on this day, and I can feel everyone knew this. I feel very successful even though I didn’t have job or a nice life that everyone connects with the word success. I feel it because I am now finished one chapter of my life in which can be my stepping stone. I feel successful because I found true friends. I feel successful because I know my parents and the Konkokyo center is happy for me.

My definition of success at this time maybe different from what others think of, or maybe too simple but this is one part of the word itself.

At this moment, I am finding a job which can help me enhance my strengths and empower my weakness, a work which can give me a career growth. I am now on the way on achieving another success, and this time it’s on the profession that I choose.