Three weeks ago, my classmate invited me to attend the Christian Life Program (CLP), the first part to be a member of Single's For Christ (SFC).

Three weeks since I decided to fully embrace this calling.
I am not that religious, and always fail to go to church every Sunday, but I know that I have this intimate relationship with Papa God.
I actually don't know when I slightly look at him sideways instead of  pursuing the path of serving him, a promise I told myself I will do when I became an adult.

Three weeks have passed and today he makes me realize again that this is the way I should go, to serve him and work again with our intimacy.

I love the topic of our today's fellowship: What it means to be a Christian?
The speaker said so many wonderful things and these are what I remember the most
 - God calls us not on our best moments but he calls us when we are at our worst
 - God doesn't want you to feel the burden of your sins, that is why he already bears it. The only thing he wants is for you to serve, follow him and do your part.
 - God wants us to love each other, to complete and not compete.
 - And God has his own timing, he will provide you better just trust and have faith with him. Man's rejection is God's redirection.

The speaker encourages us to have that intimate personal relationship with God, in which you can open our heart to him. And today, till the rest of my day, I will work to have a continuous intimate relationship with him. I won't back out and hide my face, because I know he will still love me in my dirtiest, ugliest state.

Kalahating taon din mula ng di ako magpost dito, parang saglit lang pero antagal na rin pala.
For the past years, I always tell myself to post anything or do something with this.
I often look at other blogs and feel envy because they did it.
I wanted that too, and I read somewhere that for a hobby to stick, you need to do it for 30 days.
And starting today, I will start that challenge.

For the last 22 years I am celebrating the birthday of our dear savior.

I am happier and much thanful today for everything that I have.

I don't have all the things that I want, nor have the people that I like to meet.

I didn't do something so BIG this year, nor experience a once in a lifetime feat.

But I am thankful because I have the people who I need around me, 

I am thankful because I received a gift that not many people experience, it may be not a solid second life but it is technically like that and for that I am truly glad.

I am thankful that he gives me the things that I need, not in the way I like them to be but in his own wonderful mysterious way.

There are so many things that I am still lacking as his child, but I am glad that this year he solidify all the foundations and let me realize that I am more than what I am thinking of.

I am glad, happy, thankful and feel so blessed that this Christmas I can't help but utter a sincere thanks to all the things he's been given to me and my family.

Happy Birthday Papa God :)

You know I love you right? And I will be forever your willing child :)

In your name,

Amen.

I have finished reading The Hunger Games trilogy (Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mocking Jay) last Sunday. Actually I have read The Hunger Games but decided not to read the next book because the first one is a complete series as it is, and to avoid too much excitement over the next movie.
A weekend before I start reading the book, I watched the Catching Fire and it leaves me hanging and of course I am not the kind of person who doesn't like to be hanging for sometime,  I decided to read the two books and broke my promise a year ago.

Honestly, I am so in love with Katniss and Peeta's that I really hate it that the Catching Fire was ended like that. I also believe that when a reader felt that something has ended when you finished reading a book, that means the book is really good and that is what I felt after reading Hunger Games. (I have felt it aswell when I read Harry Potter, The Perks Of Being a Wallflower, and some other great books too!)
I am still in the Hunger Games fan world that I can't help but think about it, and the lives that has been lost, the opportunity, the scenes, the heartbreaks and fears. It brings me so much emotions that I was really crying while reading >.<

I think I have three favorite lines/quotes from the whole series and it was top of this, which was on the last part.

What I need to survive is not Gale’s fire kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again and only Peeta can give me that.
So after when he whispers, “You love me. Real or not real?”
I tell him, “Real”

While reading it over and over again, I can't help by recalling the force of magnetism, which is the opposite attracts, and alike repel. Peeta and Katniss were so different, the one is so free and open, while the other wanted to always in control. Katniss and Gale are the alike poles, though they did not repel and there is a point in time, if maybe if the odds are in their favor, they end up being married though I really doubt that they will have any child.

I recall that saying and realized why Peeta is really the best for Katniss, and why normal people also falls for the person who are the opposite of them. Katniss is right that what she needs is her dandelion in the spring, that can give hope and promises. I am not actually sure of this, but maybe looking at someone with different perspective that you are can give you more life that looking at someone with the same feelings like you. Katniss is a dark character, same with Gale, and if you will put yourself into her shoes, it is scary to look in someone else eyes with your reflection. It's frightening, and she knows that what Gale's eyes will reflect, yes he love her, and she love him once upon a time when she didn't feel how it is to look into someone eyes with different view. It is comforting, refreshing, and something that gives you hope, a thing that makes us going.

It is nice to have Gale actually, someone so much like you but at the end of the day, we all have this feeling that you wanted to detach yourself from the reality, you wanted to escape in your own body and having someone so much like you is too much.

I really do love Peeta, the boy who could do everything for the love of his life and wish that I could meet someone like him. Someone who could bring me hope in the little but best possible ways. I love that Katniss choose him, that they are meant to be, and how fate turns to be.

I think I will still be in Hunger Games world for a month, and hopefully I can survive without crying my eyes out once I re-read the books, and some fan fictions.
And the movie also meet the right cast ^^ They are great and hilarious at the same time! :)

I hope the odds will be in our favor! :D

A day before my surgery, yes I am afraid but it lesser than the feeling that I feel so loved.
I might be crazy but I think one of the things that I realized with all of this is that I am really special to the people I treat special aswell.
Most of my friends expresses their fear, and wonder why I treat this lightly. I don't but I just realized that being afraid won't help me and I know that they are always with me, so what is there to be afraid to?
A little pain is nothing compared to the relieved I will have after this.
Good Luck to me in the succeeding hours >.<

Nicholas Spark isn't my favorite author out there because he always makes me cry with all his creations, but I can't help reading and watching his works adaptation.
And being me, I read another book of him and again I was in for a heartbreak.
I can't help but crying while reading and sometimes this is the main reason why I don't want to read anything, I get so hooked and emotional that it felt my life has been affected.

Amanda and Dawson.
I hate it that they didn't pursue their second chance, but at the same this makes their love so pure and sacred. They were wrapped back to their teen-age self and it feels so ethereal I guess. I think that is one thing that love always gives, the feeling of never growing old, the feeling of you are always the best person you can be.

I feel so sad about Dawson because he's always on the sad part of life, some are because of his choices while most are because of what life given to him.

I can't blame Amanda for the choices she made, she's a mother and that change everything, I guess.

I love and hate this novel because it depicts what we are all going through, in some way of another. We make choices, we live with that choice.

There are two quotations that stuck with me actually,

“Life was messy. Always had been and always would be and that was just the way it was, so why bother complaining? You either did something about it or you didn’t, and then you lived with the choice you made.” 

“I gave you the best of me, he'd told her once, and with every beat of her son's heart, she knew he'd exactly done that.

P.S. I wish I could sleep without thinking much about them >.< My eyes really hurt for crying :(

For the last years, I think there is something so amusing with the push and pull relationship, even the friend zone type of romance. I always think that it is cute watching a couple, acting like a couple, without even being a couple, weird and confusing right?

I always think that they just needed a little more time, and a little more push and they will be the cutest couple ever.

I think that it is nice to see a nice guy watching over to this girl, until he have enough courage to confess. Or a girl waiting for the confession.

I found everything so cute and endearing that I sometimes fool myself that, that kind of relationship is okay. 

Until recently, when reality pulls you in and you realized that the push and pull, and friend zone are a coward relationship. The two people held on to their feelings assuming that they have all the time when in fact they don't. These people trapped themselves in believing that maybe the other one have a special feeling too, but you don't know because you never asked and you just pacify yourself with that thought; because deep within you, you are just afraid of rejection. Not realizing the prolonging this agony, is much bitter than the rejection itself.