I missed two schedules today because I overslept, so my mood is not so good.
I didn't even eat my lunch and just go to my best friend house to talk about random stuff and somehow lighten my pissed mood.
Her boyfriend is there and making his weekly visit so i somehow interrupt them but they don't mind. I'm such a lucky girl :)
Actually i just spend talking about Kpop, random stuff and things i want in front them like I usually does :) And it's my first time having that kind of afternoon with Mark. He's nice and more of like me :D, that is why i like him now for my best friend.Birds of the same feather flocks together.
It's refreshing having other person around you, though he said that i am spoiled and scary i still like him :) Plus   i found another travelling buddy :P

I am so excited on our EK trip :)

Afternoon rains are my favorites. I always think that it's a chance to let my emo-side, the rain and its breeze is a perfect moment to read a book or think of life in general.

Way back in high school, I used to lie beside the window, open the radio to mellow station and spend my afternoon like that. Imagining things, thinking of what-ifs and could been. Thinking of a great love story to write and hoping that one day this could be true, when she's at the right age and ready for the magic called love.And she will feel contended, and hoping to have another afternoon blues again, with great music and rainy weather.

Years passed, and finally I have that luxury to stop my crazy life and enjoy this rainy afternoon breeze. Maybe it's one thing that Papa God wanted to tell me, that finally I'm beginning to go back and he loves to see this side of me.

The smell of air while raining, the sound it create and the gloomy weather makes me realized that I missed that little lady who dream that one day, the world will be hers. The sparks and determination in her eyes speaks the courage that she had. This atmosphere is very familiar that a tear wanted to escape. Funny right?

The 15 year old girl before is now a 21 year old me, and like her old habit, I read another amazing pocket novel that makes me wish I will have the same love as magical as what the lead character have. 

The rain finally stops, and the books ended, I just hope that I will have another magical rainy afternoon soon, when dreaming about love can be as idealistic as I imagine it will be:)

Finally, my little feet step on the boundary of the infamous Resorts World Manila here in the Philippines.

It is a Shopping Mall with 24 hours Cinema and Casino inside. I must admit that this is a place for people in Class A and B. I was laughing silently because most girls are in heels, and dress and thank God that I am with my office mates who are all wearing jeans and tee because I swear, I wouldn't go to this place under-dressed like we did. So how come we were in RW on a Friday night? and what we were doing there?

We wanted to watch The Amazing Spiderman because:

1. We are fanatic of cartoon movies, all of us have the nerd side according to our manager.

2. Emma Stone is HOT!

3. back to number 2 :D Haha

So one of my office mate asked her friend who is already in RW to buy us a ticket since its a Friday Night, and its a No Reservation rule. Her friend didn't reply so we call RW, after some difficulties connecting on their line we finally managed to get some information about the number of seats available etc. Our schedule was 11:50, we left the office at 11:10 but boy, we are stuck in a traffic at gate 3. We reach RW at 11:50 PM but our other office mates are still stuck on that crazy traffic. Since we are there, we just decided to go on the next sched which is 1:40. We have some time to spare so we are thinking if we will eat or go to Casino. It's funny because all of them asked me instantly if I have any idea that will indicate my age. Casino's doesn't allow people under 21, and they claimed that I look like a little girl and they are sure that the guards will asked me for an ID. I don't have any that moment because I left everything at the office except my Domo-Kun little purse which I put my company ID, cellphone and money. I lost my wallet a week ago, so all my cards are in one card holder that i don't usually bring. This urge to go to Casino is really something that we have tried 2 entrances XD. The first entrance, we didn't continue to go because they told us that back-packs are not allowed and we need to deposit it first. They are joking that they should deposit me along with the bag, or I stay at Game Zoo. The next entrance, I didnt succeed to pass because they are asking me for ID. After that my office mate have this wonderful idea that I will use her alumni Id and Philcare. I was so nervous at that time, especially when we are infront of the guards. I just walk, gave the two ID's. I remember the guards asked my birthdate and all I can do is nod my head but I cannot speak because of nervousness. When I finally went it, my office mates who witnessed me at the moment are laughing and joking that all they are waiting is for me to passed out. And I swear, I am on the edge of that, but I never passed out haha. They are all laughing and telling me that finally I broke some rules and I shouldnt do that again, but its funny! And I have another crazy moment XD

We spend some time at the Casino and observed people there, but I don't like the place. I don't like the smell of cigarette and people smoke there. You can see what money can do. Its my first time going to Casino, and honestly it looks like an Arcade, you put some money, you play and get a reward. The only difference are, its much costly and you will received money aswell. It's like a grand Arcade with tables for other games. If you will ask me if I will go again? Maybe to try the games but I am not a fond of games with money involved, and the smokes is a major turn off even though i love the carpeted floors :P

The movie finished at 4:10 AM, we go back to office and continue working :) 

P.S. The Amazing Spideman is AMAZING!

I've been working for two years this coming June 28, and up to now I am indecisive what career will i really take. I don't enjoy my current role now, and even though i wanted the career decision to be made by my manager/team lead I can't do that.

I'm stuck actually, I do not know which path should I take, but definitely i will make a decision this coming months.

I must work hard to find anything :)

You probably living on another planet, if at one point in your life no asked your opinion if a purely platonic relationship between opposite sex is possible.

Here are some video's that tackles about this topic :)

P.S. You can search on youtube if you want more :P

Since people are giving their side, and the decision is in your hands, I wanted to share a piece of my mind aswell.

I think that a purely platonic relationship is NOT possible between opposite sexes because genetically, we are programmed to like the opposite sex which we called attraction. But if you will ask me whether they can be just friends, they CAN but  sometimes there is a point in time when one, or both of them will consider having a romantic relationship with their friends:)

I have plenty guy friends, and up to now I can say that they are my friends so that is a possibility of a platonic relationship, but if you will asked me if there is a point in time where I have a crush, or think that we could have a relationship crosses my mind, it did.

 I remember years ago, way back in high school, I never wanted my friend to court me because I only want their friendship, and I am too afraid for a relationship. That point of view sticks to me until my dearest bestfriend told me that I shouldn't act as if I do not know that what I am thinking is impossible. People gets attracted in so many ways, some are by the look and others by the personality. When you are being friends with the opposite sex, you get to know them better that you start to care, and cherish them. It can be a start of something else. I think idea of going to more than friends crosses the mind of everyone, but filtered it and just go on with the friendship.

Here are some common reason's why  " friends" didnt pursue being "more than" what they have:

• the other party is committed, their brain dismissed this idea
• the other party has someone in mind and heart (believe me, most of my guy friends have crushes WAY better than me that's why we are all friends)
• you don't want to ruin anything so you just reminding your self not to fall (its a choice :) so we can't categorize it under purely :)
• You see each other as a sister/brother

I think for me the most common on my experience is that I saw them as my big brother, but some of them I reminded myself not to fall for because its a dangerous territory and based from my personality, it will be difficult for me to escape :P

I suddenly remember a quote I used to love in college that will summarize my point of view on this question:

P.S. I bet falling in love with a friend is the sweetest thing :) Because you are not just partners, you are friends first and foremost.

I have this hobby, that some people will not understand, hence they will judge me because of this.
Some of my friends call me nuts for spending time watching, reading, researching and sometimes weeping over them, when in reality they didn't know me personally, nor know my existence, they just know me as their 'fan'.
Its been three years from the time I accept that I am a fangirl :)
I spend sometime watching my favorite stars, I listen and memorize lyrics that I don't even understand.
I buy Albums that I will only play once.
I buy merchandise with hard earned savings.
Yes I maybe crazy.
But they are making me happy.
Everytime I watch Running Man and Shinhwa Broadcast in wee hours, I cry heartily and somehow escape the reality.
There are times when an ice cream or hug cannot comfort nor make me smile, but just an hour watching them, i suddenly forgot the reason why I'm upset.
To others, this are meaningless things, a non-sense. But for fangirls like me, this is a part of our life where we can be crazy without anyone will judge because your level of craziness are the same.
Fangirling makes me happy.
And It doesnt matter what others will say to me :)

There is a guy who I valued the most way back in College.

This guy is someone who I can say that I loved before, and somehow will always affects me, atleast for now.

He's my friend for 5 years, a best friend actually.

Before I thought that we could be friends forever, but as we grow, things change.

There is a point in time when I cannot understand him, he explain himself, and I feel tired for always understanding him.

Maybe if you will listen to my story, you can feel that I am victimized, but that's just one side of a coin. The other side is something I don't know who can share except him.

Our friendship got some stain, and we suddenly drift apart.

Things somehow patch up last year, and we start to talk again.

I maybe demanding, for wanting him to explain his side.

I maybe narrow minded, for not restarting our friendship and somehow hold grudges for him.

Sometimes I hate myself for being so tactless and blunt whenever I don't feel like talking. This is one changes I bet he didn't foresee, because for him, Ellen never change. Ellen is still the same childish Ellen he used to know.

I said something so blunt and thoughtless to him, I asked him what he needs from me and said straight to him that he just called me whenever he needs something. This is true, atleast from what I see, but I shouldnt have said it so bluntly.

And now, I leave some message for him on facebook. I said sorry, and wanting to restart our friendship. I maybe stupid for doing that, but I realized that somehow I wanted to stay friends with him. Not because I still have feelings for him, I know that I am passed that stage. I wanted to stay friends with him because I just wanted to be friends with him again, as simple as that. I am ready to clear our history, and have a friendship restart. Though I wanted to tell him everything I kept, but if he doesnt want that I will just hid it forever and forget.

But maybe, he doesn't need or want my friendship anymore. He talked to our common friend through fb, which means he read what I said, but no response, no nothing. 

I guess this time, we finally go back being a stranger. And this time, I can finally say that I tried to save it, and it's on his hand whether we will be friends again, or not.

Worst scenario maybe, is that we will be strangers with memory.