I just finished watching Chuck vs Goodbye, Season 5, Episode 13, and no matter how much I told myself I am not gonna cry, my tears suddenly fell one after when Chuck makes Sarah remember him. I really pity Chuck and wanted to kill Quinn with my own hands! I was sniffing and trying to hold back when Chuck said that a nerd like him can make her happy, and Sarah said sorry and she just did her job. I just can't contain my tears and they immediately run like stream. My tears finally dried out after the air plane scene and promise again not to cry again, but it all falls down when John Casey hugged Chuck. I just can't help it, and I know I am a mess. Looking at that scene, I remember the time when Chuck said "You care about me. Admit it. You feel all warm and mushy about me. Go ahead. Say it. You love me, John Casey" on season two, and here right in front of me Casey hugging Chuck on his free will.

Then Alex and Morgan's moving in and Casey's goodbye to them. After that the scene when the Awesome's will move to Chicago. Its goodbye after goodbye, and I just contain the emotions dwelling up on me. I hate goodbyes, no matter how good may outcome from that. My tears are falling like stream when I was watching the last 10 minutes. Sarah sitting on the sand, the same way Chuck did on season 1, episode 1 when he do not know what he needed to do because he think he's in a mess. I totally love whoever think of that episode, and the scene from each season is amazing. If the producer wanted to make everyone cry, I can tell that they did a good job. I was trying to control myself and not to cry that much because I am going to awake my cousin, but I cannot conceal it. I was bawling and you can hear my sobs. And I bet, every time I will hear Rivers and Roads by The Head and The Heart.

I was four year late in Chuck fandom.I know about this great season 3rd quarter of last year when my officemate asked me to try it and they actually told me I'm going to love it. Just a year on this, and here I am crying as if there will be no tomorrow. Last year, I often told myself never to be bothered by fictional things, I shouldn't cry over a drama that will end, or someone who do not know anything about me. But I cannot help it with Chuck, I was on an emotional wreck state when I first watch Chuck. That time I only wanted to have some escape to reality until I think what I wanted to do with my life and break my Korean series. I never think that this show will really inspire me big time.

I remember crying last September because I was watching the first season of Chuck and how uncertain he is on his present and future. I just found myself on his shoes, wondering what life is in store for me today and tomorrow. As I watched each episode, I slowly realized that I wanted to be him, so I need to pick up myself and start to think what I wanted while he is waiting for Sarah to admit her feeling.

Last year September, I recalled that my mom asked me why my eyes are glued on the TV on an action series. I am not the type to watch so much action, but it is a different story when we talked about spy. I love spy, I always make sure to watch a movie if its about a spy. I also love romantic comedies, and I do not like overly dramatic plot.And I bet, all of you knows that Chuck is a bit of everything, and its perfect for my taste. I actually do not hope to find something that will perfectly fit for a series that I will love. So I told my mom that it wasn't just any action series. 

I enjoy every minute of watching Chuck. I cannot count how many times I cried about him and Sarah on each Season. From their cover relationship, to their cover kiss and to the time when Sarah's emotions are escaping little by little by her control and Chuck is there wanting her to fully let go and accept it. Chuck and Sarah's love story is amazing, at least on my eyes. I love how Chuck patiently wait for Sarah, and how many times he understood her. Sarah is one amazing woman, and its really difficult on her part to easily down her defense and let her emotions shows. I love how human they are, i mean you can easily understand why they are like that. I enjoy their pull and push relationship. I was crying as well when Chuck and Sarah got married. Because of this character, I now ship Zac and Yvonne really hard.

One great thing I notice about Chuck is you will love each character and their relations to each other. I will not lie if I say I really love every Chuck and Casey or Casey and Morgan episode. I seriously love John Casey. I was crying as well when he form a new team when he felt left out with Sarah and Chuck. I wanted to hug him, if only he wouldn't shot me instantly. 

No matter how annoying Morgan is, I learn to like him. At first I wanted to punch him for being the annoying little fellow, but I love him now, and I really like that Alex will be in his hand. Casey approved him, I can never disagree. And even I found Jeffster a creep, the show will never be as much as funnier as it is without them, Big Mike and the Buymorians!

When I say Chuck cast, I should never forgot the Awesomes and how i love Baby Clara. The hospital episode when Chuck proposed to Sarah and baby Clara was born. I was really happy that time, and remember laughing when Baby Clara cried when Casey smiled and immediately turn police face.

There are many moments that I cried and laugh with them. I love Chuck because the whole story, cast and fans are amazing. I was crying aswell when I read that Chuck was saved by Subway Sandwich and the fans dedication. I never like a series because it its too mainstream, I often found myself turned off by popular series because my expectation suddenly rises and found myself disappointed by majority of it. But on Chuck case, I was wondering why it was so underrated when it should be one of the most popular series out there.But I cannot cry over spilled milk now, and I am so thankful that Chuck have a dedicated Chucksters :) and I am so happy to be one of it. I am relatively new, but people are really welcoming and so great that I am also crying because we need to find a new mission.

Though I know this season have so many flaws,and how most of the time it wasn't Chuck-centric and told the story of the people around him. But they end it so beautifully. It make me think that Chuck and Sarah's love is magical, the kind of one in a million. I already said it but I REALLY love the part when Sarah is sitting the same way Chuck did on first season, and said this 

Chuck, tell me our story.”

“Well, it started with a guy who worked at Buy More, and then one day an old college friend of his sent him an email that was filled with secrets. And then the next day his life really changed when he met a spy named Sarah. And he fell in love.” Tears are flowing while I was watching.Though did not remember fully, but the fact that she remember few detail is enough. Chuck made her fall in love with him and made her realize that he is everything she needed in her life. Chuck can make her remember again. And soon they will have their little super heroes.

They said that you know you read a good book if you feel that a good friend is saying goodbye. For me, you know you watch a good series, if you cannot easily said goodbye to it, and most of the Chucksters even the cast and crew cannot easily say Goodbye Chuck without tearing or sobbing, and I am one of them.

It all start with Trust me Chuck, and ended Trust me Sarah..

credit to gif owner. Let me know who you are and I will gladly credit you...

For those who haven't watch it, please try :) I am sure you will all love it. 

 P.S I will rewatch the whole season on May, 

I am listening to Eraserheads Spolarium now, and I suddenly imagine him singing this song again beside me like the old days. So I decided to create a blog post for him, and yes I always unintentionally create a blog post for him on my previous blog's, because of reasons.

Before, the first time I create a blog for him on multiply was because I am really comfortable with him and loved the fact that he is my friend and I wanted to stay that way until the end, Yes, I am foolish and hopeless.
After that, I posted another one expressing how confuse I am on what kind of friends we are, if we were crossing the friendship line or I am just imagining things.
Then another post on how much disappointed I am for the things that keep happening, from not attending my debut to new friend and suddenly jump to a silent war between me & him,
Year passed, and here I am creating another blog about him, just because every time I hear Itchyworm's Akin ka na lang, Parokya ni Edgar's Telepono, and Eraserhead Spolarium, no, all eraserheads songs remind me of him. And remind me how much we have change on the span of 5 years.

If you will ask me if I am sad, I don't that's the right emotion. Maybe a little regret of a good relationship that slowly fading out and no one dare to stop it. A relationship that I once cherished and really proud of, but like what I said before I got tired of giving too much effort and I cannot feel that I received even half of it. But its all in the past now, and I know things happen for so many reasons most I cannot decipher.

Life is moving, people are changing, relationship blooms and vanish. Though I cannot changed anything from the past, and  I cannot undo the memories and things I associated him with, I am still happy that at least the bridge that connects us is not burned, and I can always go back and say that I never broke our rule, we never did.

I was on night shift last week, and last friday I have a good chat with my friend/officemate :)
It wasnt intentional but I am glad that we had that long good morning talk. We talked about goals, life, and person capacity. Amazement is not enough to describe what I feel at that moment, I cannot recall everything but here are some of the things she shared to me:

• There is always a way, if you don't know what to do, always check the process and it will guide you 
• Don't be too apologetic when asking question, its normal. After asking too much, one day you will realize that you are now answering questions that you have asked before, this time to the newer one :)
• Being Lazy is not an excuse, it will never.
• Time is like money, when you know how much you have, you start thinking what to do with it.
• If you do not know what your future is, look ahead, and ask then look back and ask again. After a series of asking, you will eventually realized what you want.
• You will only know what you want when you can imagine yourself being that person in 5-10 years time.
• Breakdown your goal and start working on it.
• If you reached one goal, create another one and start achieving it again, then create another one and continue the process. Life is a cycle, you will forever in a loop.
• Don't ever think that someone is greater than you, or you are lesser person that s/he is. It just happens that the person strength is fit for the role. You will find your perfect spot too.
• There are no small of big dreams, dreams are dreams :)
• If you have a goal, give a target date to it. Time is the only thing that differ dreams from goals.
• In life, you can only be a victim or the one who victimize, and I assure you no one wanted to be a Victim. So start running your life.
• When you point finger to someone, remember that the other three was pointing at yourself. 'Hindi mo pwedeng alisan ng muta ang iba, kung meron ka rin naman'
• Always be Objective :) A person cannot be fired mainly because of attitude problem, we all have that. It mostly weigh if you perform well or not.
• Never let emotion rule your common sense.
• The good thing about our company, the main rule is about Trust & Respect. Which fights all the office politics :)
• Interest, Honesty and a little effort will help you in the long run. 
• Start by little, and you will be amaze how much those little things did for you.

I love talking to her, and I know one day, I can be the person I hope I will be :) and when that happen, I will make her proud that her words shape who I am and what I wanted to be.

I was in college when I think of recording myself giving some message to the future me, sadly my copy was all burned along with my hard drive. Last year, I have the idea to write a letter to the future and past me, just a simple way to motivate the present me, but knowing myself I did not create any since I am lazy, buzy and unmotivated (Yeah, I spent my 2011 as a zombie)  so for 2012, I decided to add some spice on my bland life. I finally gather some motivation to create and maintain a blog and fulfilled my long overdue letter.

I have found a great site that will send me the email I write today next year (or which year I wanted it to be delivered), isn't it fun? I only wanted to write something for the future me, and eventually check it once in a while, but I found a site which I cannot cheat (Since I cannot read my letter until we have reach the specific date of delivery) and have much more excitement.

I just write a letter to myself that will be delivered next year. You can also make one her: futureme :)

P.S. Please share to me your feelings when you read your future letters!

I haven't mention that I love reading right? So this will be my first post about my oldest hobby: Reading.

One friend of mine let me borrowed her pocketbook, and as a hopeless romantic as i am (Among all the genre, my favorite is romance <3, next is sci-fi) I read instantly, the story was about a bestfriends, who are arranged to be married by their parents and being away for a long time because of the snob grandfather of the girl. When the guy came back, the girl is already engaged to another guy. It was nothing out of ordinary, but I really love the ending when the girls old man gave his speech on their wedding day through telling a fairy tale about a princess and her prince dog, with the princess old wicked grandfather. It is a sweet speech, to say the least and I really feel happy just imaging this things. But what really makes my hopeless romantic veins do some somersault was when the old man narrates that he thinks that the dog prince is not good enough for his princess because every princess deserves her own princess. So one time, he asked the dog prince what he wants to be when he grows up, the dog answered "Selena's Husband". I was really touched because there is a part on the middle when I think that his answered to that question was to be the president of the company since he was destined to managed it, but the author did not say anything and just state that its the answer that the boy always gave when he was asked the same question.
The story is too sweet, for those who doesn't enjoy this genre much but for a hopeless romantic as I am, it's really a wish that I will have a guy bestfriend and we will fall inlove like that or if that's too much, I just wanted a guy who will wish to be my husband someday :)
In years time, I will re-read this post and remember how much I love Selena and Jacobo (the main cast) and how I wish I will feel what they felt towards each other.

For anyone who will read this, and currently single like me, I hope we found our Selena and Jacobo soon! :)
P.S. please let me know if ever you found him/her :P i love romantic stories! especially if it's true to life ^^