We are strangers again, this time with memories

There is a guy who I valued the most way back in College.

This guy is someone who I can say that I loved before, and somehow will always affects me, atleast for now.

He's my friend for 5 years, a best friend actually.

Before I thought that we could be friends forever, but as we grow, things change.

There is a point in time when I cannot understand him, he explain himself, and I feel tired for always understanding him.

Maybe if you will listen to my story, you can feel that I am victimized, but that's just one side of a coin. The other side is something I don't know who can share except him.

Our friendship got some stain, and we suddenly drift apart.

Things somehow patch up last year, and we start to talk again.

I maybe demanding, for wanting him to explain his side.

I maybe narrow minded, for not restarting our friendship and somehow hold grudges for him.

Sometimes I hate myself for being so tactless and blunt whenever I don't feel like talking. This is one changes I bet he didn't foresee, because for him, Ellen never change. Ellen is still the same childish Ellen he used to know.

I said something so blunt and thoughtless to him, I asked him what he needs from me and said straight to him that he just called me whenever he needs something. This is true, atleast from what I see, but I shouldnt have said it so bluntly.

And now, I leave some message for him on facebook. I said sorry, and wanting to restart our friendship. I maybe stupid for doing that, but I realized that somehow I wanted to stay friends with him. Not because I still have feelings for him, I know that I am passed that stage. I wanted to stay friends with him because I just wanted to be friends with him again, as simple as that. I am ready to clear our history, and have a friendship restart. Though I wanted to tell him everything I kept, but if he doesnt want that I will just hid it forever and forget.

But maybe, he doesn't need or want my friendship anymore. He talked to our common friend through fb, which means he read what I said, but no response, no nothing. 

I guess this time, we finally go back being a stranger. And this time, I can finally say that I tried to save it, and it's on his hand whether we will be friends again, or not.

Worst scenario maybe, is that we will be strangers with memory.