Today is my Mom's Birthday and we celebrated in a bit unusual way aka The professional way.
We had a dinner at Tramway's Buffet at Banawe Quezon City.
<This post will be updated later>

I just read the news that my beloved Wondergirls leader, Min Sunye will officially leave the group. I know it will happen, the realistic part of me predicted it, who can manage being a newly wed and come back in a group; I did not say it can't happen, but the priorities will change. And their goes my hopeful part that keep saying "No she wouldn't, she's their leader. JYP release an official announcement"
.
I don't know what to feel exactly, I still remember when Sunmi officially went on hiatus, I cried bucket of tears. Two years has been passed and I think I've matured a bit that I can fully understand why Leadermin will take that path. But I still feel sadness, it is funny because they don't even know me but I feel like I am losing one of my sister.

I know that among any other thing, love is something we should never took for granted, and I admire Sunye Unnie for getting what her heart desired. I have a great faith that her marriage life will be amazing, problems do arise but with their faith and love, they can conquer every obstacle. I am glad that she meet a good man that will love and cherish her, something that the entertainment business cannot give permanently. I can list a lot of things why I am happy and support her decision but like what I always says to my friends, you can be happy and sad at the same time. And I guess, this is what I am feeling right now.
I am happy that someone will protect and love her when the limelight faded and the curtain are all close.
I am sad because it will affect the Wondergirls, and to be honest they are not on the great side.
But there is one thing that I am sure, I support her.

I know a lot of people will criticize her, especially those who are much much concerned with the group. There will be lot's of question that no one knows the answer. Her wedding news is already a big scoop, it is encouraging and surprising for an idol group member to marry at that age but we cannot deny that this also affect the group. This question that usually arise are related to their American Album and what will happen now to the girls after the solo promotion. I hope they wouldn't disband T.T That is so heart breaking and I do not know if I can handle it properly.

I am a fangirl, and I also asked the question above. They been through a lot of sacrifice, losing members and fans. But aside from mere fangirl, I am a wonderful who understand that the members happiness will always be our priority. Their decision may hurt us, but if that what makes them happy, after a while we can fully understand them and glad that they stood for their own happiness. I hope that if there are wonderfuls that are not too pleased with this, try to put your self on her shoes. She did her part on producing and sharing great music. She made us happy. She made us proud along with the girls. Don't you guys think that now she that she find her happiness, the best thing we can do is understand, accept and support our wonderful leader?

If one day, at some twist of fate Sunye Unnie will read this, I wanted you to know that I am happy that you choose your happiness over anything. I support you, and I hope that you will have a wonderful marriage! I am glad that in this crazy world that we leave in, you show us how to dream ,do things for your dreams and that dreams changes over time too. Unnie, thank you for inspiring me :D
To the Wondergirls, Hwaiting!!! You still rock and will forever be Wonderfuls!!!!

P.S. I misunderstand the news, it says indefinite leave and not leaving wondergirls T.T Sorry :(

I was a day late but it's better than never right? Yes, Ellen, We know you love to give excuses for your laziness :P

2012 already bid it's goodbye 2 days ago, and 2013 is waving her hands in front of us. Though it's a late post, I wanted to give my thanks to a wonderful year that makes me feel really okay after a long time.

2012 in words for me are, CHANGE, FREEDOM, FAITH and FANGIRL :) Four words that summarize how the previous year has been really good to me.

CHANGE
It's been a long time from the time I bravely face this word. For the past years, I've been a stagnant creature that stays on her comfort zone. I was being afraid to change things because I am uncertain if I can handle all the crazy emotions and over analyzing that I may do. Actually, I am still afraid of changes at the start of 2012, but like what they said when changes happen, it doesn't stop, it doesn't pause, so you should prepare yourself, smile and take the challenge.

This year, I change my career path and it feels so amazing. That finally I have the courage to leave the place where I am not happy anymore. This year, I also realize that even though you change a part of your life, it doesn't mean that the people you are with will change aswell. I make new friends and my relationship with my previous team mates are much better.

Change doesn't happen solely on my career, it also happen within my family :) There are so many decisions and plans we created this year that we know what should we do in the future. Many plan's that we will do anything to accomplish.

I know that change is constant, and I shouldn't fear it but sometimes, it's really difficult telling yourself to calm down when you are not really sure on what's happening inside you. This coming year, I promise myself to be more open to it, to embrace it with a gleefully smile because I know I am heading to something. It may not be as big as I wanted to, but I know it will lead me to be the person I am meant to be:)

FREEDOM
It's actually associated with change since I feel a lot more free when I accepted and do something for a a change.
I feel freedom towards my work that I am now disciplining myself again to be a better me.
I feel freedom to take incharge of my career more that I am restricting myself to lesser fangirling because I wanted to learn more.
I feel freedom in my life now because I was not as bitter as before.
I feel freedom because I have decided to take the wheel of mylife again and decide which destination I will go next.
I feel freedom last year because finally I admit that I am not okay, I seek help, I forgive myself.
I realize this year that freedom really means being outside a box or a cage, but sometimes it's been difficult determining if you are inside a cage or not because you are being blinded by the invisible walls that you created by yourself.
I am thankful that finally I feel like a flying bird again, I feel the old me who look the world brighter.

FAITH
All of the other words I wrote is nothing if I didn't reposes my faith.
I always believe that I am one of Papa God's favorite cup of chocolate and I promise him before that I will do anything in my power to serve him. But for the past years, my hardheadedness and pride made its way, I was ashamed to face him and making bull crap excuses that I am busy and will make time next time, but I did not try hard enough.

This year, Papa God knock on my family door and for a long time, we welcome him as a family. My faith in him resurrected and I am slowly going back to that little girl who talks to him all night.
I realized how stupid I am for the past years and I will not do that stupidity again. It's not because of the things I gain but mainly because he makes me feel stronger and much better.

We do have many problems this year, I can't count how many times I've cried alone but everytime I talked to him, it feels that someone's touching my heart and telling me "Little Child, don't worry too much, I am here and will protect you". Being a Papa God's servant really a truly amazing, life changing experience:)

FANGIRL
This balance all the seriousness actually.
I will never forget 2012 as this was the year I met and watch Bigbang live ^^ I've been high for almost a month because of that.
I am more active on this part too that I write fanfictions again after 2010 T.T
I promise to lessen my time here this 2013, it's easy back threading ^^

2012 has been a wonderful year to me and I hope that this 2013 it will be a BANG ^^
I hope my 2013 I will finally scrap some of the things on my bucketlist, my family will be much much much better, and I will continue serving Papa God.

P.S. Lola, I know you will not able to read this but I hope you'll be okay there :) I miss you so much and one day I will draw once again.

P.P.S. I'm such a feeler here:P